When I was 18 year old

5th Aug 2003

It is already ten past twelve by my table clock & I have just finished reading the newspaper (The Times of India). Gone through the main news, the entertainment column and sacred space etc. It seems like all my hostel friends and my seniors have gone to sleep, except a few, because I can see from my room window that a few lights are not yet off. One of my room partners, Rajesh (From Jaipur) and Manoj (from Haryana)is asleep. Manoj is going through the notes.

Well today I am not in a mood to study so it came to my mind to write something and try to express my feelings as a student of IHM Lucknow and as a hostelite.

It all started during the mid of my intermediate final board exams. I had no idea about hotel management. My father brought the form in the morning of 24th April and in the afternoon it was my English exam. 25th was the last date of receipt of application forms. I had no idea of what to do, so my elder sister filled the form and I signed it and hopefully it reached its destination in time.

I gave the exam without any prior preparation and got 596th rank (AIR). Side by side I got my intermediate results which was very good (as stated by my parents). I scored 74.4 % marks in U.P. board. So here I was happy and joyful, unaware of the hardships of the Hotel Management studies.

I made all my preparations, met my friends and bid them good luck, made myself strong to live away from home and my family. Cheering my mother every time, telling her that I am going only 100 km from the house, but who can make her understand, after all she is a mother.

(cont. on 25th August 2003)

Gradually the time came and I left for IHM. We all (me, sis, dad & mom)reached the institute on 14th July. After completing all the formalities and paying the fees we headed towards the hostel. On first time seeing my seniors I felt that they must be good and would not ragg the juniors. They gave a professional appearance, they talked politely, showed the way to my room (26). We took a quick survey of the room and then the bathroom. I found that it was good. After keeping the things in place we went to the near by market called as Purania market and bought few necessary day today items. My dad opened a bank account under my name (joint account). It was a nice cloudy evening when we again traced our way back to the hostel.

There came the most crucial time of leaving me. At the main gate of the institute we departed> I was prepared for the situation. Before I might become emotional I immediately said 'bye' to everybody and in a few moments I saw my father's car getting smaller and smaller . I then turned and faced towards the institute, located in a green surrounding, clean and healthy environment> I was also fascinated by the chocolate brown color of the institute.

Now there I was standing alone at the main gate . As soon as I entered in I was called by a few seniors may be 4 or 5. I gave a good smile to them looking in their eyes with a little fear. This was the moment which I can never forget. The reason is obvious that it was the first step of my ragging. The seniors asked me to stop smiling, to look at the third button of my shirt. I was very tensed so I can not clearly can not remember now as to why I called them 'bhaiya' on which they said- "Bhaiya- तो यहा रिक्षे वले को भि कहते है/ क्या हुम तुम्हे रिक्क्षे वले लगते है/ आगे से हुमे सर कहना/". Then they said-"ये बाल कैसे कटाये है? कल तक एक दम छोटे हो जने चहिये/ नाइ कि दुकन पे चले जाना और कहना IHM cut बाल काटो/" Then one of the seniors said that he is bringing a cigarette for me to smoke. But when he offered me, I refused to smoke. Then they said-"यार मजा नही आ रहा है, चल तेरी रैगिन्ग बाद मे लेगे, चल भाग"

And I had to run and make the motions of a flying bird and reach my hostel. (2:20 AM)